Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize