Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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