I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
