Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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