bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
