I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
