i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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