Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
