I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
