the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
