Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
