she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
