So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
