Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
