my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
