My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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