And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize