Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
