I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Is it penis luge time yet?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
