I just saw a hot homeless man
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
