I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
