he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
