Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
