and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Come on in and take your pants off
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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