Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
