Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
