garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I got inside last night via doggy door
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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