I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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