There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
