i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
