I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize