is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize