Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
