Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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