everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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