My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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