Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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