I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
