I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
