Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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