this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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