oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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