Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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