I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
