Just fell off a train. Bad.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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