there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
