you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
