Cold hands, warm shart.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
