around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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