i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
