What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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