woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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