i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
