In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
