Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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